Matrimonial Blog
Posts Tagged ‘love’
A new study has challenged popular beliefs that love is destined to flicker and flame out in course of time.
Researchers at Stony Brook University in New York have found that people can be as madly in love with each other a couple of decades into marriage as they were when they met, reports CBS News.
They conducted brain scans on couples in the early and long-term stages of relationships.
“The couples were shown a picture of their significant other and it highlighted the reward centre (of the brain). So what that can tell us is (that lifelong love is) not mythical, it’s not fairy tale, it shows the same kind of reaction in both (early and long-term relationships), and that’s wonderful news,” said ‘Early Show’ contributor and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein.
“The more colour highlights (on the scan reveals) the fact that there is a greater attachment that’s built. Attachment areas grow over time,” she added.
“Love can last much longer than we really thought about because their divorce rate is so high. So I think this is really hopeful that maybe love is equally long-lasting,” said Hartstein.
‘Early Show’ co-anchor Jeff Glor said one important part of the study was that long-term couples who said they were madly in love still have sex frequently.
So how important is sex in a relationship?
“Sex is important for lots of reasons. We know there are actually a physical health benefit, mental health benefit, and most importantly, keeps you connected to your partner. And that’s only going to build passion and positive feeling towards the other person,” said Hartstein.
But beyond sex, she said it is communication that makes a relationship last.
“You have to keep the communication open, working on keeping the connection together and appreciating one another,” she added.
Article Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man/woman/Love-really-can-last-a-lifetime/articleshow/7366442.cms
A new research has suggested that relationships in which the woman is more attractive than the man are more likely to fail.
Scientists from Stirling, Chester and Liverpool universities found that beautiful women seem to realise they can pick and choose their mates, whereas an attractive man with a more ordinary woman seemed to be more content and less likely to stray, reports the Telegraph.
Researchers took photographs of men and women in over 100 couples, some of whom had been together for a few months, others for many years, and they were then rated on looks.
The analysis showed that in relationships pairing a “beauty” with an average man, it tended to last only a matter of months.
Rob Burriss, one of the researchers, said: “This would indicate it is the woman who is in control of whether the relationship continues.”
He added that beautiful women may realise they can afford to pick and choose.
Conversely, the less attractive women “may have to make do with what they have, hence the longer relationships“, he said.
The work was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Article Source: http://lifestyle.in.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4993825&page=0
‘Distance’ is the one-word reason that countless couples have ended their relationships. While being in a long distance relationship can sure be tough, it does not have to take a toll on both of you. we tell you how you can bridge the gap
Stability
Trust is most important to build the foundation of a stable relationship. There should be a level of commitment between the couple even before considering a long distance relationship. Inherent mutual trust built up over time helps withstand any sort of challenges that come along. An on-again, off-again relationship does not have the surviving power that a stable one does.
Transparency and honesty help a relationship grow and can only happen if there is no game playing and manipulation. A man and woman who are together because they want to be and not because they have to be, share a solid bond. “I have been in two serious long distance relationships and both times I never second guessed my choice because I knew that was where I wanted to be. You learn to live away from the person and cherish the moments you have together. Trust is the one thing that gives you the strength to do that and feel secure,” shares Nidhi Awasty, 23.
Why is it difficult?
Very simply put, man is a social animal and is not attuned to living a solitary life. It is definitely better for a relationship if there is minimal distance. But, if both partners believe that they can see a future together, it is not impossible to overcome the distance. “The hardest part is the physical distance because it gets frustrating when you want the person you love to be around. Of course, you learn to deal with it maturely, but you always miss the person,” says Sanjana Keshava, 25.
There needs to be acceptance of the situation and mutual loyalty, so that together you can come up with solutions to work through the time apart. It might even be harder if the couple isn’t married. “Three of my five-year relationship has been long distance, and there are times when we are miserable because we’re so far away from each other, but we both know that we would be even more miserable if we weren’t together at all,” adds Manini Chadha, 23.
People have differences in temperament. Hence, while some can handle the distance, some cannot. It is not a question of strength or weakness, and you shouldn’t berate yourself if you find that you are the type who can’t do it. Being true to yourself will save you and your loved one from unnecessary pain and heartache later on.
What you can do before he leaves
Reassess. Ask yourself if you see a real future with this person in the first place before jumping into a long distance relationship. Evaluate the benefits of being with him and ask yourself if you are willing to put in the extra effort. Of course, duration of the time apart as well as the situational circumstances play an important role in your individual decisions.
Define your boundaries. Talk to your partner and decide what is okay and what isn’t when you both are apart. Some sort of rules always help if either of you are feeling alone and vulnerable towards breaking it up.
Communicate. It becomes doubly important to open the channels of communication when you choose to do long distance. This ensures that you stay connected and involved in each others’ lives. You definitely need to brush up on your communication skills because you will have only words to connect you. Work out a plan if you are in different time zones and use whatever technology available to communicate be it chat services, skype, cellphones and texting.
Plan trips. Try and meet as often as possible so that you both have something to look forward to.
Pay attention to your needs. You must not feel shy of your physical needs and deny them. Instead, find more innovative ways, involving your partner to spice up your sex life.
Don’t clutch at straws. If you feel like you have grown apart and the relationship has run its course, have the courage to bow out with no regrets. It is not a good idea to hold on to a relationship only because you’re used to it and it is a habit.
Article Source: http://idiva.com/news-relationships/tips-to-maintain-a-long-distance-relationship/3431
If you think your romantic relationship is on the rocks, don’t worry, for an expert has offered tips to keep it alive and happy.
“Keeping the love in a relationship is about understanding who the other partner is and working extremely hard to keep the lines of communication open,” said Josh Kl
apow, of the University of Alabama at Birmingham.
Klapow said a relationship is doomed if the communication is not there. “Very often it’s the little things, the daily hassles and decisions that couples need to make that lead to bigger problems; learning to make decisions together is critical for the survival of your relationship,” he said.
Here are the five things Klapow recommends for making decisions together:
• Set a specific goal
“What do each of you want? Make sure you are very specific. Eating dinner out is not a specific goal. Going to a restaurant where you can get a steak, your partner can get grilled shrimp and you both can relax in a quiet booth is specific. The more specific you are the better.”
• Monitor your discussion
“As you are discussing the decision at hand, make sure you are staying on track. Often couples will start discussing a goal and stray to some other topic, which can lead to frustration. So, if you notice yourself or your spouse getting off the subject, come back to the specific goal.”
• Arrange the situation for success
“Decision making doesn’t work well when someone is tired, hungry, short for time or pre-occupied with other activities. Before you start the discussion, make sure each of you is in the right frame of mind and you have the time. If not, table the discussion as it is likely to go awry or fail.”
• Recruit support from one another
“A collective decision means that sometimes there will be compromise. If you are going into the discussion to win, then you are not making a collective decision; you are fighting a battle. Remind each other that you are a team and that you are in it to win collectively, not necessarily individually.”
• Treat yourselves
“Celebrate the success of a decision together. A hug, a celebratory reward, anything that acknowledges that together you have accomplished this task will help keep you motivated to make decisions together again.”
Article Source: http://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/relationships/Making-a-relationship-strong-and-healthy/Article1-661085.aspx
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it is the season of love everywhere. Named after the Christian martyr Valentine, Valentine’s Day is an annual commemoration held to celebrate love and affection around the world. It is a special day for those in love.
Different people have their own way of celebrating Valentine’s Day. Some couples gift each other chocolates, cards and flowers. “I eagerly wait for this day. My boyfriend gifts me loads of flowers and chocolates,” says Anupriya Nihar, a student of Daulat Ram College. Going on a candle light dinner is one of the most clichéd things to do on Valentine’s Day.
“On every Valentine’s Day, me and my wife go out for dinner,” says Abhinav Dhall, an executive. Restaurants are busier than usual as many people go out for an evening with their spouse or partner. Instead of going for a dinner try going for some delectable breakfast. You can also go for a Valentine’s brunch at any of the finest restaurants in the city. “Me and my boyfriend have plans to go out for a brunch this Valentine’s day,” says Nishi Gulati a student of Kamla Nehru College.
Going for a movie and lunch is one of the perfect ways of celebrating this special day. Watch your favourite movie while holding your partner’s hand. It is one of the prized things you can do. “I and my boyfriend usually go for a movie and lunch on every Valentine’s Day,” says Neha Nagpal, a student of Gargi College. Going on a coffee date is another simple yet wonderful thing to do on this special evening. “I and my girlfriend had met first time over a cup of coffee. This is going to be our first Valentine’s Day together and again we are going on a coffee date,” says Shivam Sharma, an engineering student.
If you are a party animal, then this is a great excuse to hit the dance floor. “I plan to visit my favourite club with my boyfriend and party till late in the night,” says Priya Kapur, a lawyer.
Wealthy couples have their own way of celebrating Valentine’s Day. Rich men gift their wives expensive stuff like gold and diamond jewellery. “Last year my husband gifted me a diamond ring. I was overwhelmed,” says, Priyam Mahajan, a homemaker.
Flying off to romantic destinations like Udaipur and Goa is yet another fun way of celebrating Valentine’s Day. Hotels and flights to such places are full during this season. “I plan to spend this Valentine’s Day at the Lake Palace, Udaipur,” says Deepak Ahuja, a student of SRCC. If you have loads of money, make a trip to Paris. “This is our first Valentine’s Day after marriage and we are going to Paris. I am super excited,” says Misha Garg, a newly married girl. Romancing in sea is a unique way of celebrating this day. You can go on a cruise holiday. “I have always wanted to go on a cruise and Valentine’s Day is a great occasion to do this,” says, Deepika Mitra, a fashion designer.
If you have a shoe-string budget, check out the roadside stalls. Eat street food with your partner and celebrate love in an unusual style. “We are students and do not have any income as such, but we still make sure to celebrate Valentine’s Day and have a real blast.
Article Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/What-makes-V-Day-so-much-special/articleshow/7487134.cms