Matrimonial Blog
Posts Tagged ‘marriage’
There is no set formula to fall in love or force someone to fall in love with you. Yet, if you have found yourself someone who you believe you want to spend the rest of your life with, you need to put make sure that you start preparing yourself for a giving and committed relationship which focuses on doing everything that makes your partner happy and captivates his heart.
Here are a few simple tips to keep in mind that help you develop a long-lasting relationship with your partner:
1. Respect:
The first and foremost aspect that is sure to captivate the heart of your man is showing him some respect. This is crucial to building a strong foundation for your relationship. The more respect you will give him the easier it will be for him to grow his love for you.
2. Be understanding:
It is one thing to show concern through the day about how his day went, but make sure you are not crossing the line and stalking him. Be understanding about his work schedule and learn how to give him space. The more you let go the more he will be drawn to you.
Also, if you are already in a relationship, be empathizing about his time with his guy friends and encourage him to go spend some time with them to play sports etc. Try not to be too impatient and your better half is sure to be happier.
3. Listen:
Though women are considered the talkers, remember that the men like to talk about their work day, things that are stressing them and the achievements they made that day as much as women do. One of the sure shot ways of captivating a man’s heart is by developing a strong listening capacity. Avoid giving unsolicited advice and just give your partner two good ears. Your support and encouragement will be more than enough to gain a special place in the heart of your man.
4. Compliment him:
Just like we like to be appreciated every once in a while, men can be pretty attention seeking especially from their partners. Be open to complimenting him regularly, and genuinely. Appreciate him for all the hard work that he is putting in to provide comfort for you and your family. Not only will he feel supported but he will also be motivated to continue doing so.
5. The pleasure of the little things:
While you are expecting your man to always get innovative about celebrating your birthday, anniversary or any other important occasion, let the tables turn and take the initiative to do something sweet for him. You don’t even need to wait for an occasion. Cook him his favourite meal, have a private candle light dinner, write him little notes and letters of appreciation.
Believe it or not, captivating a man’s heart is far easier than one can imagine. If treated correctly, men can be extremely giving and loving. Remember not to exploit their selflessness. The best way to captivate a man’s heart is treating your partner the exact same way you want them to treat you.
A new study has challenged popular beliefs that love is destined to flicker and flame out in course of time.
Researchers at Stony Brook University in New York have found that people can be as madly in love with each other a couple of decades into marriage as they were when they met, reports CBS News.
They conducted brain scans on couples in the early and long-term stages of relationships.
“The couples were shown a picture of their significant other and it highlighted the reward centre (of the brain). So what that can tell us is (that lifelong love is) not mythical, it’s not fairy tale, it shows the same kind of reaction in both (early and long-term relationships), and that’s wonderful news,” said ‘Early Show’ contributor and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein.
“The more colour highlights (on the scan reveals) the fact that there is a greater attachment that’s built. Attachment areas grow over time,” she added.
“Love can last much longer than we really thought about because their divorce rate is so high. So I think this is really hopeful that maybe love is equally long-lasting,” said Hartstein.
‘Early Show’ co-anchor Jeff Glor said one important part of the study was that long-term couples who said they were madly in love still have sex frequently.
So how important is sex in a relationship?
“Sex is important for lots of reasons. We know there are actually a physical health benefit, mental health benefit, and most importantly, keeps you connected to your partner. And that’s only going to build passion and positive feeling towards the other person,” said Hartstein.
But beyond sex, she said it is communication that makes a relationship last.
“You have to keep the communication open, working on keeping the connection together and appreciating one another,” she added.
Article Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man/woman/Love-really-can-last-a-lifetime/articleshow/7366442.cms
A new book is offering tips on how to keep a marriage strong and its authors say that it is all possible through a close economic analysis.
“Spousonomics”, the book written by Jenny Anderson and Paula Szuchman, talks about how couples can economise their time and efforts.
“Economics is the study of scarce resources. What is more scarce in your marriage than time, energy, love, libido?” ABC News quoted Anderson as saying.
Common wisdom suggests that happy couples share responsibilities like laundry, dishes and cleaning.
And according to a survey by the Pew Research Center, the most important things in a successful marriage are faithfulness, sex, and sharing household chores.
But the authors say that while dividing every chore may seem fair, economics says it is folly.
“If you’re doing half and I’m doing half of each task, then the time we’re spending on everything is actually greater than if we specialise,” Szuchman said.
Take, for instance, a hypothetical couple, Jack and Jane. It takes Jack 30 minutes to do the laundry and 20 minutes to walk the dog. Jane can do the laundry in 45 minutes and walk the dog in 25.
If they each do the tasks half the time, it would take them a total of 420 minutes per week.
Even though Jack is better at both tasks, it’s in the couple’s interest to split responsibilities according to ability and take advantage of what economists call comparative advantage.
Jack should just do laundry because he’s comparatively better at it, and Jane should just walk the dog because she’s comparatively better at it. By specialising, they could save 36 minutes a week.
“Everybody has to do something. This is a system for dividing it up in a way that’s more efficient,” Szuchman said.
It all boils down to simple supply and demand. In business, when the cost of something goes up, the demand goes down.
“This can be true for sex as well. When you make it cheaper — and we don’t mean in monetary terms, we mean in terms of time and energy — demand for it can rise,” Anderson said.
“The more expensive sex is, you are celibate, and the cheaper it is, you are a rabbit,” Szuchman stated.
Couples can have “cheaper” sex, the economists say, by finding different times of the day. Make it a priority and don’t wait until you’re in bed ready for sleep.
The bottom line is that if you have more sex, you’ll have more sex.
And on disagreements and fights, the economists say the old advice to keep talking and never go to bed angry, does not work well.
“Right, that’s bad advice,” Anderson said.
Economics says that sometimes, at least, the best thing is to simply shut up and stay angry.
“We hate to lose. Economists have quantified that we hate to lose twice as much as we like to win,” Anderson stated.
So to combat that instinct, they say, it’s better simply to go to bed angry and wake up in the morning with a clear head.
And even when frustrations boil over, Szuchman and Anderson say it’s vital to remember how great marriage can be and try to make things work.
“Marriage is a long-term investment. The last thing you want to do, when you start panicking that life isn’t as sweet as it used to be, is run out the door looking for a replacement,” Szuchman added.
Article Source: http://lifestyle.in.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5011749
Dating may have become hi-tech, but romantic rituals remain much the same, says a new study. Like in traditional dating, online love birds are influenced by non-verbal cues like spelling errors, the number of exclamation marks and the use of grammar.
Zoe Hazelwood, psychologist at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT), who led the study, has found that traditional and online dating are, in fact, very similar.
For example, she found non-verbal communication was also just as important in online dating as it was in traditional dating, according to a QUT statement.
“Although online traditional non-verbal cues are not present, in our research we found people do judge potential partners on things aside from what they are saying,” she said.
“People form impressions online based on things like spelling errors, use of acronyms, amount of exclamation marks, use of grammar – things like that.
“They may not pursue a relationship with someone if they do not like their writing style, or feel they have poor spelling.”
Another habit that is present in traditional and online dating was the tendency to present ourselves as – just slightly – more interesting and interested than we actually are at the start of a relationship.
Online dating has also allowed an avenue for people young and old to reach out and find connections, said Hazelwood.
“One of the things I found pleasing was that online dating stretched across all age groups,” she said. “In our research, one of the participants was a 76-year-old female. She and her partner, who was the same age, met online and were getting married.”
Hazelwood’s research found that traditional daters and online daters had roughly the same relationship success rate – despite many people believing that online dating was not as likely to be as successful as traditional dating.
Article Source: http://lifestyle.in.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4928255&page=0
International Women’s Day 8th March 2011, a century of celebrations, with a discussion of whether love and romance elude successful women is a well-wanted and important discussion today. With many women wanting to set up a successful career, and not wanting to tie the knot till the 30’s makes love and romance easy for some and almost impossible for others. The question is that is this due to the egoistic nature of men or uncompromising nature of such women.
What men want in women for love and romance:
Most men with a sense of ego and uncompromising nature expect women to be beautiful with a trim body and smooth skin. They love women who care for hygiene and cleanliness and would care and nurture best for their family, home and children. The style and color of their clothing that makes them look good is also among what men look for in women.
Men love women with a sense of pride in her abilities, making them feel secure and wanted, however they detest women with overconfident and vanity. An outgoing woman, those with a good sense of humor and interest in common topics and topics interesting to them is appreciated by men.
It is also true that men cannot tolerate women that are more successful than them and crave for attention, praise and love to feel precious. Men love appreciating other women but would detest if their women got extra attention from other men. Though they appreciate informative and those women with a good senses of humor they find it difficult tolerating women who are more better informed and sometimes run them on their wrong side.
Can successful women be successful in romance too:
The fact that men are ill prepared for relationships with successful woman comes from their need to feel important and wanted. This is evident in some men and my observation of my friend Rama makes me feel this conviction is true. She held a successful job in a multinational company, with her husband running a small business at the time of marriage. Rama was a graduate and her husband a pass out from school, their differences increased when her husband’s business collapsed and he had to find a job elsewhere. This was the beginning of problems in their life; love and romance eluded her.
My thoughts go to Vikasini in her late 30’s, running a successful beauty business. Her attempts to find a person for marriage to enjoy love and romance have so far not been met with much positive response. I come to know that the perceptive of most prospective grooms felt that being successful, she would be uncompromising in their love life, though I have always felt she was full of love and affection.
I fail to agree with the fact that all successful women are not compromising in personal fronts. Niupama the Vice President in a big multinational company is the most compromising successful woman. She manages her career and family life well, with time on Saturdays and Sundays being fully spent on the family and children. In addition, she spends time with her children and husband in the nights catering to their interests and needs.
It is true, women placing importance on success and power is a bye product of centuries long dominance of men, as my daughter Vishaka started making a success of her life as a result of what she saw in my life, she believes success can give her more in life. Though intimidating to men wanting just beauty and youth, I would not say that these women are wrong. I am sure they would be able to find love and romance with men accepting them as they are and those caring for quality companionship in life.
Some men have benefited with accepting women as they are and have gained on a sense of companionship, belonging and security in love and romance. My friend Radha’s husband is an example, he appreciated her bold and uncompromising decision to break her engagement with her fiancé because he was just a ‘mama’s boy’ and did not respect her views.
As we celebrate the Centenary Year of International Women’s Day on 8th March 2011, I ask you to examine such instances in people around you and examine whether it is true that love and romance elude successful women or is it a matter of ones own perception.
Article Source:http://she.sulekha.com/international-womens-day-2011-romance-and-successful_03_2011_postedby_nirmalaspeaks