Matrimonial Blog
Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
The marriage is behind you and you look forward to a fresh start. While ‘moving on’ is the most often repeated mantra, you might get a little lost on your way because of societal pressures, concerns about your child, financial worries and more. Here’s putting you back on track by helping you deal with each obstacle post-divorce
Manage your finances
“I think the primary concern of a woman would be the financial security. If she separates along with her child, she’ll be concerned about whether or not she has the wherewithal to finance the upbringing of her child,” says Mumbai-based psychologist, Dr Sharita Shah.
A woman would tackle the situation differently depending on whether the divorce was her choice or she was compelled to opt for it. If it was her choice, she might have to make a bigger compromise while negotiating for the alimony.
Tips to tackle:: Consider these situations – are you employed or unemployed? If you are employed is the salary enough for both you and your child? If you are unemployed, shortlist prospective employers or start a small business. Remember to close all joint accounts, insurance and investments that you and your ex-spouse shared. Find out if child support is part of the alimony. Do consult a finance expert who will show you the way forward.
Deal with societal pressures
We Indians tend to think of ourselves as more grounded in comparison to the West but the divorce rates here are on the rise as well. “Women may obviously fear acceptance in the society and the fact that everyone may consider her not responsible enough to having held the home together,” shares Dr Shah. It is for this reason that many couples live apart without getting a divorce officially.
Tips to tackle: “The best way to tackle this is to keep your loved ones around you because they will give you a feeling of acceptance,” suggests Dr Shah. “Also a woman must not go about justifying her divorce to everyone. Your loved ones will know anyway and you need not go about explaining your stand to those who are not so significant,” she adds
Taking care of your child
“Nowadays couples who choose to opt for divorce are gradually becoming more aware about the difficulties a child faces during this time and try to make a divorce easy on their children,” says Dr Shah. The entire procedure can be quite mentally taxing for the child and the parents. Parent must try to make the divorce easy on the child.
Tips to tackle: Your children deserve honest explanations so try and be as truthful to them as you possibly can without revealing certain details. It is essential to assure your child that he or she is not the cause of the separation. Changes like a different home and a new school can be unsettling for your child so be prepared to be there to support and understand him. You can maintain your peace of mind by being with your loved ones.
Article source: http://idiva.com/news-relationships/how-to-move-on-after-a-divorce/2533
Have you ever found yourself dating a great guy, but unable to make him commit to your relationship? Have you found lots of guys who long to hang out, or are happy to have casual sex with you, but balk at the idea of something more substantial? Are you ready to learn to take things to the next level? Read on for the secret of turning those fun flings into real relationships.
It’s a cliche to say of that a man always wants what he can’t have, but this simple truism is the key to making a man want a relationship with you. If he feels that you’re under his thumb, willing to do whatever he asks for because you have no alternatives, then of course he’s not going to commit. Why does he have to? You’re not going anywhere.
Desperation is the world’s worst perfume. Don’t wear it. If a man gets even a whiff of it he will run for the hills, and with good reason. Do you find yourself attracted to a man who is desperate to have you in his life? Of course not. So why would a man feel that way about you? If you want to make him commit, you have to purge desperation from your life.
But it’s not easy to fake. It’s so hard to fake, in fact, that it’s crazy to try. Instead, what you need to do is to organize your life so that you’re too busy to be desperate. Who wants to sit around waiting for a man to commit when you could be out there having the time of your life?
So you need to get out there and throw yourself into life – even if it means meeting new men – not to rub it in his, but for you. You do is to you can feel like you have options. Then the choice is his: he can commit to a relationship with you, or he can watch you meet some other fantastic man who has no qualms about giving you what you deserve.
The wonderful thing about this approach is that even if it doesn’t make him commit, it puts you in a great place, with a wonderful full life that makes you happy, surrounded by friends and other potential suitors. Don’t waste time waiting around. Throw yourself into life, today… you may be pleasantly surprised by what it does to the man in your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
It is easy to get complacent when you have been in a long term relationship. This complacency can lead to problems in a relationship.
You can get around this complacency by having a date night. You need to take your partner and go do something you both enjoy. There is magic in the simple act of going on a date. The idea gets ignored too much after the initial courtship.
Keep it simple. The importance is that you are going on a date and not how flashy it is. A marriage can benefit from the simplest of dates. No need to spend tons of money and try to impress your spouse. Money is not the answer.
The idea is that you need to be by yourselves for a little while. You need to do this on a consistent basis to keep the sparks flowing.
Women make assumptions that you do not want to be with them especially in public. Going on a date can alleviate this concern. Dating keeps the excitement alive and reduce to boredom leads your spouse to feel rejected. Do not take this risk or assume that it cannot happen to your relationship.
Make a goal of setting regular times to go out with you spouse. Go outside the mainstream and do something sometimes besides dinner and a movie. A dinner and movie still is better than nothing.
An atmosphere of romance needs to be created between the two of you. Get creative and push the envelope. Do something spur of the moment like playing miniature golf or recreate when you got engages.
Plan ahead and get a babysitter to watch the kids. Keep a list handy of family members or friends who can watch the kids so you can go on a date. Your relationship and sex life will flourish if you have regular alone time.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
While Bollywood is getting more and more adventurous in its portrayal of romances, celebrities are following a different route altogether. With Mahendra Dhoni’s secret marriage to a non-celebrity last month, and Vivek Oberoi plans to tie the knot with Priyanka Alva, a girl picked by his parents, the
trend of conventional and “arranged marriages”, as counsellors call them, seems to be coming back into fashion.
Dr Rajiv Anand, a counsellor says, “Most marriages these days find it hard to finish five years. And a majority of these crumbling ties are so-called love marriages. Sadly and surprisingly, I come across a large number of youngsters who after a few years themselves realise that they made the wrong decision.”
The illusion
Celebrities like Madhuri Dixit too have been married to people out of the media glare and have managed to maintain their relationship until now. Are the expectations from a ‘media marriage’ any different?
Vivek OberoiDr Hiten Shah, a marriage counsellor says, “Celebrities want to feel like a normal person when they return home to their family. So if they are married to someone who doesn’t share the same publicity glare that they do on a regular basis, it helps differentiate the worlds for them.”
So what is it about arranged marriages, which is causing them to make a comeback? “The fact that sometimes the young generation does not have the same objectivity about certain characteristics that parents can have. Vivek Oberoi has made a wise step in that direction and respected his parents’ decision,” says Anand.
Open relations
Meanwhile, relationships like those of Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan too are examples of how bonds based on love, and not marriage, can work. “Nothing is written in stone. Kareena and Saif have committed to each other verbally, and in the media, and yet manage to keep their relationship secure,” says Shah.
For celebrities, an arranged marriage could provide the right balance. “A popular personality has a major part of his life outside his home,” says Shah. “These people get married to partners who don’t have a public life, so they can nurture and care for them. If both the partners share that lifestyle, they would both feel deprived.”
Source – http://www.hindustantimes.com/Arranged-marriages-are-back-in-fashion/Article1-584674.aspx
Indeed, online matrimony is a new phenomenon that is becoming prominent in India especially in urban vicinity. Nowadays Youngsters are opting for online matrimony so as to live their future life perfectly with no regrets at all. This is the most crucial phase of one’s life and everyone wants their dream life partner but one wrong decision can ruin the whole life and you have to suffer every bit of it.
Consequently, these matters are certainly given more importance nowadays rather than previous times when the entire burden of marriage was on the family members. As far as modernization is concerned, their has been an immense change in the customs of society. Moreover, the society is being looking forward to modernism. Those days are gone when girls used to be very coy in her dressing sense. You might have found her draped in sari, nevertheless and now women empowerment has full-fledged so she wears whatever that looks good on her. A new style has been introduced, for instance jeans, shorts and many more. Girls have become so much emancipated that she can take her own decisions independently. One more relationship has also emerged that has become prominent since few years back, i.e. LIVE- IN REALTIONSHIP which was very trendy in west. Live- in relationship is actually a distinct relation from marriage. In this relation, the duet shares a bed along with the home without marrying. However, this relation is bit uncertain as there are no restrictions and boundations by in-laws. This is unconditionally different from matrimony. Different strata’s of people are opting for different relationships which they consider to be perfect for them and all this is possible because of the high emerging internet access. Online dating and matrimony is the only reason for peoples in becoming independent and emancipated.