Secrets to a long and successful marriage

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A successful marriage is possible! Here are some principles that will help you create and maintain a successful marriage.

Spouses in a successful marriage are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful marriages. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience.

Secrets to a long and successful marriage
Secrets to a long and successful marriage

Here are some principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:

Happiness is not the most important thing

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.

Secrets to a long and successful marriage

Marriage takes work! Whoever tells you otherwise is simply lying! So when you see couples who have lasted a lifetime together, you can’t help but wonder what could be the secret behind such successful marriages. Well, it isn’t some complicated riddle, but in fact, quite simple in terms of love, understanding, trust and of course, strategy! Hence, we bring to you some ways to have a lifelong marriage.

Fight fair

Don’t bring “you didn’t do that last year too” into a fight. Bringing up past mistakes will only deteriorate the situation. So, if you and your partner are arguing, focus on handling the current issue you both are facing, rather than misleading the conversation into unnecessary directions. Fight fair, solve fair.

Compliment each other frequently

Simple words of encouragement or compliments have far greater power than you think. Telling your partner they look good in that suit or dress can really lighten them up. Also, if your partner is let down at any moment, praising them about their qualities and work will surely motivate them further.

A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over

Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.

Keep realistic expectations

Don’t expect your partner to do things according to your way. Keep it real when it comes to expecting them to indulge in some household chores or basic amenities. Accept that your partner has their own way of doing things. Marriage includes a lot of compromise and understanding, especially about meeting up to expectations.

Mould into each other’s wants

If your partner is craving ice-cream for dessert, but you want brownies, then order some ice-cream for now. There’s always a next time. Don’t throw a fit if things don’t go your way, instead, learn to balance it equally, so that your partner also takes your wants and needs into consideration.

Your spouse comes first

If there’s any good or bad news, your spouse should be the first one to know. This assures them of their position in your life. Despite you having best friends, spend time with your spouse, go out on spontaneous trips and consider each other as a main priority-this will keep you two married happily.

Take things lightly, whenever possible

It isn’t necessary to take things seriously, every time you and your spouse have a fight. If they have offended you in a way, take some time to think and give them a chance to apologise genuinely. If they do, don’t make a big deal out of it. You can laugh it out instead!

Love is a verb, not just a feeling

Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.